That one time I didn't post for 2 weeks.....

I haven't updated the blog in about 2 weeks. My bad.

Its not that I haven't wanted to its more that I haven't had anything to say.

If I'm being totally honest its 100% because Ive been feeling very under the "weather". By weather I mean Pittsburgh. Moving hasn't been my shiniest moment in life. Its so odd because before I moved I would have told you all about how I couldn't wait to get out of Arkansas and explore a little. Then I met Juss and he wanted the same as me and before I knew it we were selling his house and planning our move. I think it just all got way too ahead of me. I can't help but feel like I got steamrolled. I never had any interest in moving to the north east. I really dislike cold weather. Like I dislike it so much that opening my front door and it being cold outside makes me cry for hours and not change out of my pajamas. My idea of leaving Arkansas and exploring was mostly moving to South Carolina or Florida, right next door to my grandparents. Then if you add on the extra two months it took me to find a job and then not being able to start said job until another month later kind of put me in this very dark mood. I haven't been the easiest person to live with these days. I honestly am trying for Juss's sake because he LOVES it here. He loves his job that he goes to everyday ( that is not an exaggeration...he works everyday) and his family is basically down the street and its the greatest thing to happen to him. I however feel so very alone. I miss my family and friends so much its a horrible ache every day. Everyone keeps telling me it will get better but I just can't swallow that. I don't see how the things I don't like about Pittsburgh are going to change. Its April and its cold outside still. Not the kind of cold where you need a light sweater, the kind of cold where I'm still wearing sweatshirts and jackets and socks. Our apartment is so dark and dingy. Even with the lights on and the curtains open its still dark. It makes me sad. The city is so backwards. It takes 20 minutes to drive somewhere that is right across the river because of the bridges and one way streets. Parking is so ridiculous. We have to pay 80 dollars a month to park at a lot and then STILL take the shuttle to work which gets stuck in traffic and makes you late anyways. If we chose to park at the hospital it would be 200 dollars a month for parking. THAT IS INSANE. We live in the city now but when we move next year to a house we will have to drive even further to a lot then still shuttle. Juss and I want to be homeowners so we look at houses. I'm too southern for a PA house. They are all so close together and run down. Juss doesn't want to renovate. They don't have yards and if they do they are so far away from the city. The school system here is so bad. Every neighborhood we look at has a school district that ranks on a scale from 1-10 as a 5 or 4. ALL the schools here are low ranking.

I know that my feelings are intensified because its new and because I always imagined being surrounded by my friends. Juss and I had such great friends in Little Rock. I wanted to raise a baby at the same time as my best friend. I wanted to be at our friends kids birthday parties and weddings and have a community. I know eventually I won't be so sad and I will grow to adjust to Pittsburgh but right now at this moment I am so incredibly home sick. And I need sunshine like yesterday.

Anyway...this is my rant for the week.

Next week Ill be back with a more cheery and positive post about my new job, our new bed set, and our camping trip we are going on this weekend because Juss thinks it will cheer me up to do something I love.

XOXO,
N. Sanchez